Home and what has hit Home

Today I received some sad news from my work colleagues back home. A boy I worked with was in a car accident and died. I had a very special relationship with this boy...I was able to establish contact between him and his mother after 9 years. I watched as his Foster Care placement disintegrated and the heartbreak this caused himself and his carer. Tim and I seriously talked about fostering this boy, but the timing was all wrong. I found a new placement for him and watched him grow in this placement only to find out that the placement was not appropriate for him in the end. I remember him sitting in the car sharing his most deepest thoughts and dreams for his life. He appreciated my life just I did his, he had Tim and my wedding photo hanging up on his wall. This kid had everything against him yet he was determined to prove to the world that two wrongs, or in his case 20 wrongs, don't make a right. He was the epiphany of resilience...and now he is gone.

This has really brought up some issues of distance with us. I am aware that there will be a memorial service at my work and a funeral which I will be not be able to attend. There will be debriefing for those who were involved which I will not be privy to. It is hard to describe the attachment you make to children who really only have two people in life to count on, their foster carer and their case worker.

For Tim especially this has brought up the inevitable death of his first love Buster. If Busty dies before we come back then Tim will have to grieve at a distance. This is both a blessing and a curse.

Tim and I have talked about the many blessings we have in our life and it has sparked the memories we miss. For example a niece that just has to dress the same as you or needs to have their hair braided only by you. Or cousins that just love to ride on the back of Tim's electric chair. Aunties that pop in unexpected and sisters that arrive on your doorstep with care packages. Friends who always have time for you no matter what your issue is as they completely understand you and how this issue may affect you.

All of this we miss and have reflected on while we have been away but felt it poignant to say out loud given the recent circumstance I find myself in.

So along with Vegemite, Turkish Delight and Cordial, you are missed!